As an introverted person with a bit of social anxiety, I have always found reading to be one of the cozier hobbies. This bias made me interpret everything related to reading as things I should be able to enjoy, even the idea of social reading clubs. In the past, I have attended and organized a few of these clubs. Recently after moving houses I was trying to find ones that I can attend in my new area. While doing this search, I got some time to reflect on my needs here and I realized, unsurprisingly, that social reading doesn't work for me.
Of course there is no introvert monopoly on reading so I am not implying that the idea of social reading won't work for anyone. But I feel frustrated that many introvert friendly clubs also use social reading at their core which makes me wonder if there are no introverts in their ranks.
To clarify, I am talking about clubs and meetups that specifically claim to provide spaces to relax for [introvert] book lovers. So this automatically removes book discussion meetups, paper reading groups, or any other explicitly social setup. What this includes are meetups that happen in cafes and parks and other spaces where people could come together on fixed times in, say, a week and read.
As I mentioned previously, there is nothing wrong here except the misrepresentation of what relaxes an introvert like me. Social situations with people—specially new—are stressful for me, and I guess it's not a leap of faith to say that it's the same for many others. It doesn't mean that I will never want to meet people and talk about books, but I can't relax the way a 'quiet reading group' says I should be able to if I read in a cafe or park with other strangers, together. All the while feeling the group's eye staring at me.
I have met many friends over such reading meetups and had good, mild-natured, socializing times. But what has never happened is for me to go consistently to such meetups and actually feel relaxed while reading a book for an hour straight. When I read to relax, I am many times on my toilet seat, or lying somewhere in my house, or other safe spaces. These safe spaces also include a park when no other readers are around, or a train station with other people but with such diverse purposes that they don't conjure any 'group eye' that could stress me out. I don't need silence while reading, I need safety, comfort, and high amount of environmental familiarity.
I admire the people who are working to popularize reading as a beautiful way to spend time and base social connections on. I have found many reading clubs to be helpful for various stages and kinds of readings. In the past, my team used to run a paper reading group that was very social and the benefits would offset any cost you have to pay as an introvert. Similarly I feel the idea of asynchronous reading groups that keep you on track for more intensive readings could work nicely for me. But I needed to write this post down so I can disentangle reading with social reading and do them separately within my comfort thresholds. You will still find me talking about what I am reading, I will still read in parks, I will still post my readings on my reading list, and will still occasionally toot about them. But I won't show up for structured meet ups with other people around me to just read.